Your Wedding Vows
The reciting of the wedding vows is probably the highlight of any ceremony. You stand before your partner, swallow the tears, and try to get the words out. But did you know that you have options when it comes to your wedding vows? Some couples repeat their vows after the officiant, some write their own vows, so simply say "I do."
There are also many different styles of vows to choose from even if you are not writing your own. Modern, traditional, spiritual, or civil the choices are just about endless.
Traditional
Minister: (Groom's Name) will you take (Bride's Name) to be your lawful wife, will you love her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health and forsaking all others keep only unto her so long as you both shall live.
Response: I will.
Minister: (Bride's Name) will you take (Groom's Name) to be your lawful husband, will you love him, honor and keep him in sickness and in health and forsaking all others keep only unto him so long as you both shall live.
Response: I will.
Transitional
I commit myself to full closeness and to clearing up anything within me that stands in the way.
I commit myself to my own complete development as an individual.
I commit to revealing myself fully in our relationship, not to concealing myself.
I commit myself to the full empowerment of people around me.
I commit myself to acting from the awareness that I am 100 percent the source of my reality.
I commit myself to having a good time in our marriage.
(Bride's Name / Groom's Name), I want to be with you always. I choose you above all others to share my life with me in marriage. I love you for yourself and I want you to become all that you can be. I promise to honor this pledge as long as I live.
Traditional Christian I Do
Minister: Do you, (Groom's Name / Bride's Name), take this woman (man), (Bride's Name / Groom's Name), to be your wedded wife; and do you, in the presence of God and before these witnesses, promise and covenant to be to her a loving, faithful, and dutiful husband unto thee, until God shall separate you by death?"
Response: I do.
Promise
Groom (Bride): I promise to love (Name) with all my heart and mind and strength. I promise to be faithful to her in thought, word and act for all the days of my life. I promise to consider her welfare and happiness before I make any decisions and I promise to offer her comfort, encouragement and companionship.
Modern (My Favorite!)
I, Groom, take you Bride, to be my wife, my partner and my one true love. I will trust you and honor you; I will laugh with you and cry with you. I will love you faithfully through the best and the worst, through the difficult and the easy. What ever life brings I will always be there.
Writing Your Own Vows
I received a question from a bride today, one that I get quite often by the way, that went something like this, “Scott, would it be ok if my fiancé and I wrote our own vows?” Of course, my answer was a resounding and enthusiastic, “YES!”
Her next question was the stumper, “Well then where do we start and what should we say?”
What you say and don’t say in your vows is totally up to you and your fiancé. If you don’t want to pledge to “love, honor, and obey,” (Very few brides today are comfortable with the obey part) then don’t. If you like the traditional elements then keep them in. A good place to start when writing your own vows is to make a list of feelings and likes.
For instance, I love my fiancé. Love is a feeling word and should be added to your list. I like to laugh with my fiancé; laugh is a like and should be added to your list. You may also list things that you enjoy doing together; we enjoy the beach. The final element to add to your list is how you treat one another and things you have in common. We respect each other; we help each other overcome problems; we have the same dreams; we both like country music. So your list may look something like this:
Love
Laugh
Beach
Respect
Help
Dreams
Country Music
Now convert your list into a vow. Remember, a vow is a solemn promise, pledge, or personal commitment (dictionary.com). No other vow is more personal or more permanent than your wedding vows. A vow using the list above may go something like this,
I Scott, take you Lisa to be my wife. I promise to love you and laugh with you all the days of my life. As we walk the beaches of life I will help you reach for your dreams, I will respect your individuality, and I will spend my nights wrapped in your arms listening to country music.
Some readers out there may think that vow sounds corny or silly but to the couple who sat down to write them they would be the most beautiful words in the world.
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